AKU BELAJAR TENTANG SEJUMPUT KEJUJURAN

Pertengahan February 2008, aku transit di bandara Frankfurt Am Main Intl. airport, Frankfurt, Jerman, mungkin sekitar jam 10 malam, sebelum Lufthansa membawaku pulang ke Jakarta hari itu, setelah 3 jam sebelumnya aku berlelah-lelah di Bilbao Airport, menikmati pemandangan disana, akhir dari tugas kerjaku selama 30 hari di Spanyol. Malam itu cukup ramai, lebih ramai dibandingkan saat aku transit disana 30 hari sebelumnya. Ramai namun menarik, karena pemandangan yang jarang-jarang aku temui, melihat wajah-wajah orang dengan berbagai bentuk, berbagai warna, dan berbagai macam bahasa. Sekelompok orang bersiap-siap untuk melanjutkan perjalanan ke Prague, sebagian lagi sedang sibuk melihat papan flight status, mencari update untuk penerbangan mereka selanjutkan ke

THE SHADOW

After all I’ve been trough
Still…sometimes…
It comes just to say HI!
a big "hi" smile, with a winner confidence, facing the looser: ME.
..still wishing someday, that it goes for good,
and never drops by to bother again,
to let me live, and walk in with my own way.
Expecting you to let me be wrong sometimes,
Expecting you to try to comprehend..
those are paths to reach perfection as you expect me to be.
Please see..
See with your heart that i am doing it!

But now..I still see something in your eyes.
Still I found it there…
Feel like standing behind bars..
trying to get rid of it from the one I only have.
But I’m weak, yes I am..
….unless you stand beside me inside.

Baby...
No matter how kind, how smart and how perfect it is..
It’s just a shadow now,
And I’m already afraid..and even mad at it
….afraid and mad that your door is still alive for it..
That might come to you sometime which is able to fill your satisfaction
whenever I am not able to…

So yes..it comes sometimes…

now..
I am not afraid anymore.
I have such a big heart that is ready to be molested time to time.
However there is still one door of mine that would never be broken.
That perfect door stands still, and marked by your name..
and when you are ready to come in,
ensure that you leave the shadow outside.
This door is too pure to accept the past.
Just come in my love! and let's have a brand new field,
Together we build a new house with pure feeling,
Without any interfering from outside world.

Am I dreaming…?
Or is it reality already…?
(since I still feel you keep it aside, hide it in a corner of your heart)
You might feel that I do not see.
But this conscience can’t be lied.
Give me thousands of reasons..but this conscience can’t be convinced still..
Come with one single and pure love
Be true..then this conscience would smile

I…
Still see it though…
The shadow..
And I don’t think I have enough power to compete now.
Not even with something that is already unreal.

So should I be the shadow either..?
To be unreal…?
And then disappear….?


-Andy Krisbianto-
03 February 2010

SEJATIKU 18:30

Menikmati kesendirian..

Secangkir kopi panas dan sebatang choco stick kembali menjadi sejatiku.
Tidak pernah berkeluh kesah walau pujian terkadang minim keluar dari kerongkonganku. Hanya terdiam...
..tapi mampu membantu menenangkan keluh kesah yang tak terucap.

Walau aku tahu..mereka tidak akan pernah mengerti.
Karena saat ini..
Memang hanya kesunyian yang kuperlu.
Dan mereka ada buatku..

Hanya itu kawan..
Sejatiku..yang tak pernah memandang apapun rupaku.

Tetaplah menjadi sejatiku.
Jangan pernah berubah walau perubahan selalu terjadi disekelilingmu.

AKU!
amat menikmati dirimu..

Silence..is not always GOLD,
sometimes..it's just a piece of SHIT...

-Andy Krisbianto-
28-Jan-2010, 18:30