THE SHADOW

After all I’ve been trough
Still…sometimes…
It comes just to say HI!
a big "hi" smile, with a winner confidence, facing the looser: ME.
..still wishing someday, that it goes for good,
and never drops by to bother again,
to let me live, and walk in with my own way.
Expecting you to let me be wrong sometimes,
Expecting you to try to comprehend..
those are paths to reach perfection as you expect me to be.
Please see..
See with your heart that i am doing it!

But now..I still see something in your eyes.
Still I found it there…
Feel like standing behind bars..
trying to get rid of it from the one I only have.
But I’m weak, yes I am..
….unless you stand beside me inside.

Baby...
No matter how kind, how smart and how perfect it is..
It’s just a shadow now,
And I’m already afraid..and even mad at it
….afraid and mad that your door is still alive for it..
That might come to you sometime which is able to fill your satisfaction
whenever I am not able to…

So yes..it comes sometimes…

now..
I am not afraid anymore.
I have such a big heart that is ready to be molested time to time.
However there is still one door of mine that would never be broken.
That perfect door stands still, and marked by your name..
and when you are ready to come in,
ensure that you leave the shadow outside.
This door is too pure to accept the past.
Just come in my love! and let's have a brand new field,
Together we build a new house with pure feeling,
Without any interfering from outside world.

Am I dreaming…?
Or is it reality already…?
(since I still feel you keep it aside, hide it in a corner of your heart)
You might feel that I do not see.
But this conscience can’t be lied.
Give me thousands of reasons..but this conscience can’t be convinced still..
Come with one single and pure love
Be true..then this conscience would smile

I…
Still see it though…
The shadow..
And I don’t think I have enough power to compete now.
Not even with something that is already unreal.

So should I be the shadow either..?
To be unreal…?
And then disappear….?


-Andy Krisbianto-
03 February 2010